On Perfection, or not living as ostriches

Have you ever heard that expression, "nobody's perfect?" There are two ways of using that expression. One is for someone else, to comfort them when they are ashamed, or embarrassed. The other is for yourself, as an excuse. Okay, maybe there are three ways: the third is with eyes rolled, meaning that you think somebody else is too good to be true.

In any case, I wonder if we ever bother to check the truth of that statement. How do we know that nobody's perfect? What do we think perfection is all about?

It used to be that people talked a lot about perfection as something that IS possible, with hard work and a good heart. It also used to be that there were a lot of people chewed up and abused by that kind of thinking. In trying to be more accepting and loving, we adopted phrases like: "nobody's perfect."

What if being perfect was not about never ever messing up, or being good at everything? Instead, it could mean doing the best thing at the best time; making the best possible choices. I think that is what President Roosevelt was talking about when he spoke to the nation during WW2:

"We shall strive for perfection. We shall not achieve it immediately—but we still shall strive. We may make mistakes—but they must never be mistakes which result from faintness of heart or abandonment of moral principle...
We have learned that we cannot live alone, at peace; that our own well-being is dependent on the well-being of other nations far away. We have learned that we must live as men, not as ostriches, nor as dogs in the manger.	11
We have learned to be citizens of the world, members of the human community.	12
We have learned the simple truth, as Emerson said, that "The only way to have a friend is to be one."	13
We can gain no lasting peace if we approach it with suspicion and mistrust or with fear. We can gain it only if we proceed with the understanding, the confidence, and the courage which flow from conviction."  Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1945 inaugural address What is an ostrich? A person who uses "nobody's perfect" as an excuse to not try. What is perfect in your mind? What makes the perfect friend? Does anybody you know fit that description?	14

Thinking Big...

Make no small plans. They have no magic to stir humanity's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work... Remember that our sons and daughters are going to do things that will stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon, beauty. Think big. - Daniel Burnham, 19th century architect.

One decision does not make a whole life. As much as TV dramas would make it seem like our lives boil down to one cliffhanger (per season!), the much harder truth is that we will keep making decisions for our whole lives, and it is years' worth of these choices that will determine how we are seen by others, and how we feel about ourselves, in the end. This might be a relief, in some ways--I would hate to be judged on the basis of one mistake--but it is also frustrating. No matter how many sand castles are built, time and tide will make it necessary to build them all over again.

What kind of decisions will we drive ourselves to make? Do we want to be staggering? It's hard to imagine taking big risks and making big plans over and over again, unless this goal is powered by some deeper sense of purpose. Thinking of the Ghandis, Martin Luther King Jr.s, and Mother Theresas of the world, there is a connection between acting courageously even when it's tough and believing that you need to be a part of changing things.

I went to a smallish school where I was easily accepted and could be involved in a lot of things without competing too hard. Then, I went to a huge school in a big city where I had little hope of being singled out for anything. I am so grateful that I got to do both. My first choice didn't prevent me from making another one, and I got to have the best of both worlds: first belonging and support, then challenge and the opportunity to make big plans. I got to do some crazy awesome things in both places, but now that I am out of school, it takes more energy to make those things happen. Time will tell if I continue to build sand castles...

I wonder: what is the biggest plan you have right now?

What does it mean to be a member of SpiritEd?

It's not about signing up, or carrying a card in your wallet. It's about the way you choose to encounter life. We have choices all day long to zone out, check out, sleepwalk, etc. Having a choice means there is an alternative, though. It means that you can also engage moment-to-moment. You can tune in on what's going on around you on a tiny scale, and in the big picture. To be a member of SpiritEd is to choose to wake up, hour by hour. To claim your freedom and your responsibility. To question things like common sense, cliché, and ethics. What any person does makes sense to them in the moment if she thinks about it, but is she thinking about it? What kind of life would you have if you lived with spirit, instead of merely responding to other people's expectations? Is it worth it to you to find out?

The "Ed" in SpiritEd is acceptance of the fact that we have already learned how to follow directions from others well--this comes with being a kid! If we want to direct ourselves, especially if it means doing the unexpected or countercultural, we're going to need to learn how. 

I'd been trying to teach myself guitar for a little more than a year using YouTube, apps, sheet music, and sheer determination, and I think I learned 7 or 8 chords. I could play some stuff, but it sounded choppy and it was annoying to practice. I took 6 guitar lessons with a teacher and I was able to play some tunes along with the radio, at normal speed! I had to fix some things about my guitar, and I would've never known it without someone sitting next to me. Honestly, people learn to direct their lives and make choices on their own all the time--this doesn't change the fact that it's easier with someone sitting next to you. 

Want to be a member of SpiritEd? Participate. That's all there is to it. 

First question:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt

What is the most daring thing you have ever tried? Why did you bother with it?

Hi there!

You're on the SpiritEd blog. This is the mobile meet-up for SpiritEd members, conversations too big for one day, sites and links that help you stay awake, etc. To belong in this space, your comments/pics/links must follow a couple of simple guidelines:

*This is a place to dare greatly--please do not share ideas that you wouldn't wear on your skin or feel in your heart. It's okay to be uncertain and/or change your mind, just remember to speak for yourself.
*Be kind--Golden Rule thinking. If you want to be free to post, don't shut other people up with negativity. The less we doubt ourselves, the more daring we can be!
*Challenge, don't contradict. If you want to question or challenge something on this blog, do it! Challenging is different from denying, ignoring, dissing, and dumping. A challenge gives us all the opportunity to stretch ourselves as much as we can, and be happy for each other's progress.
*Choose your words carefully. Remember that the others who read what you say want to understand you--if you use a lot of shorthand or code, or swear a lot, you are more likely to be misunderstood, so think it through before you post!

That's it! Let's go.